Welcome to Good Money Vibes, the podcast where millennial women in the UK transform from being bad with money to becoming financial rockstars. Are you tired of feeling lost in the world of personal finance? Do you ever think, “I’m just not good with money?” Well, fear not. You’re in the right place.
Every Thursday, we dive into the heart of money matters tailored just for you. Good Money Vibes isn’t your typical finance podcast. It’s a friendly and conversational journey into the world of money, mindset, intentional spending, behavioral finance, and all things money education. I believe that being smart with money doesn’t have to be dull. It’s about understanding your financial behaviors, making purposeful decisions, and most importantly, feeling good about where your money is going. The episodes are packed with practical tips, expert insights, and relatable stories, all designed to empower you to take charge of your financial life with confidence and joy. Whether you’re sorting out your savings, tackling debt, or just curious about how to make your money work for you, Good Money Vibes is your go-to guide.
We’re not just a podcast; we’re a community. After tuning in, don’t forget to join our Money Confidence Club on Facebook. It’s a space filled with supportive women just like you, all on their journey to financial freedom. So grab a cuppa, hit play, and let’s turn those money woes into money wins. Welcome to Good Money Vibes, where good money management meets great life choices.
Hello, hello. How are we doing? Oh, it is very overcast today, and I’m just a bit done with the English weather. As I’m recording this, it is Thursday, the 23rd of May. Like, when is summer, right? May, June, July – this is supposed to be summer. But apparently not. We had a good week the other day, didn’t we? And that was our week of summer. Anyway, on this gloomy day, I thought I would discuss the cost of comparison and how comparison can creep into our lives. We may not even realize it’s there, but it can really mess both with our financial goals and compound the feelings we have.
I think it’s important to bring awareness to it, especially the effects of comparison on money and our mental health. As I talked about before, money and mental health are so intertwined. We know that we spend money to make ourselves feel better. Emotional spending is definitely a thing. So, how can we start to find joy in our own journey and get clear on what it is we want? That’s what I’m going to talk to you about today.
I’m going to start by saying I don’t think this is going to be an episode where I give you all these hints and tips, and you’ll never feel comparison again. That’s just not how it works, is it? I’m very much in comparison mode a lot of the time. I think we all are in different aspects of our lives, financially being just one of them. But I think the biggest catalyst for comparison and almost overcoming comparison at the same time was when I had my son.
When you have a child, you’re constantly bombarded with all these things you should and shouldn’t do. As a first-time mum, you’re really susceptible to any influence. Anybody that says they have a bit of experience can influence you, and the comparison trap was so strong when I had my boy. Straight away, I was putting him into paid baby classes. This was a six-week-old. Why on earth was I doing paid baby classes at six weeks old? It was because you don’t want to be a bad parent; you want the best for your child. And because of that, you’re constantly seeking out what is going to be the best.
I was taking him to these classes, which were good and fun, and they got us out of the house. They definitely served a purpose. But did I need to be paying £30 or £40 every couple of weeks for them? No. I could have just gone to a free rhyme time session at the nursery or library. I’ve since learned there are so many stay-and-play sessions that are literally like a pound or two, and they have great baby sections. Most people justify it by saying it gets them out of the house, but you don’t need to be paying that much money. It was about being seen as doing what you feel like you should do.
As someone who had a really difficult upbringing with my parents, especially my mum, I felt that I had to do everything right. I put so much pressure on myself to give him the best. I realize now that the best is actually just a happy, healthy mother. Having financial stress because you’re paying for all these things you think you should have or do isn’t serving anyone. That’s when I first realized that I was spending a lot of money, and I spent pretty much all the savings I had while on maternity leave.
Another big thing that happened when I had my son was breastfeeding. I really struggled with breastfeeding. I was paying for private doctor’s appointments, getting private prescriptions, and buying the best breast pumps on the market. I bought supplements and lactation cookies. I did everything because I believed that everyone can breastfeed if they have the right support, as I was told in NCT classes. But after five months, I realized I couldn’t do it.
Not only were we paying for all this stuff, but also for bottles, sterilizing equipment, and formula. The emotional turmoil was immense. I cried so many times during that period. Coming out the other side of that, I realized that I needed to do things my own way and not worry about what others thought. That was the catalyst for me to focus on my happiness and the happiness of my son and partner.
In short, you can be in the comparison trap, thinking you’re not good enough in various aspects of life, but all that matters is your happiness and the happiness of those you care about. I want you to forgive yourself for falling into the comparison trap. We live in a capitalist, consumerist society that constantly tells us what’s right and wrong.
I actually don’t go on TikTok anymore because it turned into a shopping channel. I was in a bad place with my money mindset, overspending, and racking up some credit card debt again. As a money coach, I can forgive myself and work through it with a plan to pay it off. But I realized how easy it is to be influenced, especially if you’re feeling vulnerable.
If you have credit card debt, overspend, or buy things because your friends are doing it or you feel you should, forgive yourself. It’s a tough world out there. It’s rare to find time to work out your personal values and what makes you uniquely happy. We were sold a promise: work hard, go to uni, get a job, earn money, and live a good life. But that’s not how it works, and it makes us unhappy trying to do what everyone else thinks we should do.
My partner is an example. He was influenced to study history instead of pursuing art, which he loves. He regrets not following his dream. I want you to sit down and write out all the things that make you happy. Look at your life, budget, and time, and see where you can start incorporating those things. It might mean a career change. I thought theater made me happy, but I realized it didn’t, and I changed careers.
Evaluate your life and make changes towards what truly makes you happy. If you need to change careers or relocate, write it down, set a goal, and start working towards it. Think about your daily life too. I started dressing in brightly colored clothing, which makes me happy, despite societal expectations. Since then, I’ve received many compliments and feel happier in myself.
Stop caring about what others think and focus on your own happiness. Create a budget that aligns with your personal values and life goals, not based on external comparisons. Unfollow social media accounts that trigger comparison and practice gratitude. Celebrate small financial milestones and surround yourself with supportive friends.
Try positive affirmations. They can be life-changing. Here’s one for you: “I am on my own unique financial journey, and I am proud of the progress I make each day.” Take one small step today to align your finances with your personal values. Write down what makes you happy and important to you.
Thank you so much for listening. I did not expect to talk about this for 30 minutes. I thought it was going to be a quick episode, but I went on a rant. I hope this has been useful. I know it hasn’t been greatly financial, but I hope you can see how intertwined finances are with our emotions and comparisons. Let me know how you get on, and I will speak to you next week or the week after. I think I’ll do an episode about talking to your partner about money. Thanks for listening, and I’ll speak to you soon. Bye.
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