Paying yourself isn’t just a “nice to have” or a once in a while thing “when I can afford it”… It’s essential. And yet, so many business owners are either doing it in random drips and drabs, or avoiding it entirely because “the money isn’t predictable.” I get it, self employed life isn’t for the weak. But without a clear owner’s pay, you’re running your business on vibes alone… and that’s not going to fund the life you want.
Here’s the exact process I take my clients through to pay themselves with clarity and confidence, inside my Cashflow Confident program.
Step 1: Work Out Your Real Numbers 🔢
Before you can set a payday, you need to know what you actually spend each month. That means doing a financial audit of your personal expenses. Not guesses, not wishful thinking, but real numbers. And trust me, it’s not as scary as it seems.
Go back over at least three months (six is even better) of spending. Pull in everything: personal bank accounts, credit cards, PayPal, anything you use to buy personal items (so nothing business-related). Categorise your spending into:
- Necessary bills – rent/mortgage, utilities, groceries, travel, medical costs.
- Joyful spending – eating out, clothing, beauty, holidays, hobbies, etc.
Then, average each category. And remember, this isn’t about shaming yourself, it’s about knowing the truth so you can make realistic decisions and goals.
Step 2: Set Your Owner’s Pay 💰
Your average monthly personal spending becomes your owner’s pay target. This is what you need to cover your life, without leaning on guesswork. Now, look at your business finances. From your total profit, set aside your tax percentage first. Never forget the tax! After that… The remaining amount is what you can pay yourself. If there’s more than your target, congrats! That’s overflow you can use to build a buffer.
If you don’t hit your owner’s pay target yet, that’s not bad news, it just means you now have a benchmark. You now know exactly how much more you need to bring in, which makes sales targets and planning so much easier.
Step 3: Prioritise What Matters 🤍
When your business profit can’t fully cover your personal needs, you’ll have to prioritise. Non-negotiables are bills and essentials. But I also recommend keeping some joyful spending in there. Cut it completely, and you risk slipping into scarcity mode (which often backfires).
I also swear by having a breathing fund: £500–£1,000 set aside for life’s curveballs. A kid’s last-minute birthday party, your boiler breaking, all your beauty products running out at once… These small, inevitable expenses are what throw budgets off when you don’t have a buffer.
Step 4: Choose a Pay Frequency 📆
Ideally, pay yourself monthly. It’s cleaner for tracking, and helps you manage personal finances. But if cash flow is tight, you can pay yourself fortnightly or weekly instead. Map out your personal payment schedule (including bills and spending averages) and set your business paydays to match.
Step 5: Keep It Consistent 🔁
This is a skill, not an overnight fix. Some months you’ll nail it, others you’ll fall off track. That’s normal. When life or business gets messy and you lose track, focus on one small habit, like checking your bank account daily, to keep awareness without overwhelming yourself.
Paying yourself with intention isn’t just about the numbers (although we do love the numbers), it’s about building a business that works for you, not the other way around.
If you want me to walk you through this process step-by-step, get it set up in your business, and get regular personalised advice, join me (and a bunch of other amazing business women) inside Cashflow Confident. We’ll get your systems in place, smooth out the kinks, and make sure you know exactly what to pay yourself (and when) without the stress ✨
— Em x

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